“Our children hear no too often and many times its for selfish reasons on our part: we are tired, want to unwind, have another project. But our children need and deserve to hear yes a whole lot more than No when it comes to our time. They deserve to know they are cherished and loved and that time with them is a treasure, that they are held in high esteem in our lives and schedule.”

I started to ask myself how often I am saying No just because what my boys are asking is inconvenient to me? Am I saying No because I truly can’t or because I don’t want to or have a different agenda?

I walked away from that meeting with new insight and conviction. Needless to say, I’m working on being more of a “Yes” dad.

Recently I was in a little vintage store in Monroe, WA. I ran across a picture of two birds, with the saying, “It takes courage to grow up and become who YOU really are.”

This quote resonated with me long after I left the store. We so often let the expectations of others and their “right” way infect our view of who we should be. But what hit home  to me most that morning is that I am too often the person who stands in the way of what I should be.

The worst voice to hear is our own speaking out limitation

Take courage, choose to grow, and become who YOU really are! A butterfly has to fight for those wings to emerge but when they do, the beauty overshadows the struggle.

Stephan Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People says, “First seek to understand, then to be understood.”

I wonder how our perspective and world would change if we each took the time to understand the past behind the stance and the person behind the statement.

This kind of conversation offers powerful perspective.

We hear about our pastors, friends, or family members that are getting divorced and we are bewildered by the thought.

We say to ourselves, “But everything seemed so great?”

As we look at a high divorce rate, what are we doing to daily invest in the relationships in our lives?

We don’t want to receive a call from our best friend telling us his family is breaking apart or worse yet have a spouse announce their intention to split up– and be caught completely unaware.

But this is happening at an alarming rate every single day. We are over scheduled and out of touch, and our relationships are paying a dear price.

If we aren’t willing to invest and make our family and friends our true priorities than to whom will they turn when the hard times come?

I pray it will be us (you and me) because we have shown them we are safe, available, invested and willing to walk through their pain with them.

By Noel and Karissa Meador

Ask anyone who has been married for many years and they will say, like fine wine, sex gets better with age. But why is that?

Over time couples realize that to truly connect and have intimacy that blows their minds, they have to communicate about the kind of sex life they want: what they like, what they don’t like, and how it makes them feel. They also have to communicate about their relationship as a whole.

Pretending isn’t as easy when your naked; these are the moments where unresolved hurts and broken communication can really make themselves known.

It is a sad standard that our culture has set. If it isn’t instant chemistry or mind-blowing, then move on to the next. Such a sad substitute for what God has created true intimacy to be–close, deep, in-tune, better with time, and giving.

But if we are only seeking our momentary pleasure and not talking with our spouse about our sex life and relationship, we are selling ourselves short and most likely, have no idea how truly unbelievable our sex life could be.

Our wives so often serve as the pulse beat to our families. Sometimes I come home and see that concerned look or certain expression on Karissa’s face and I know that something is up; I trust her as the barometer in our home.

One suggestion Karissa has made that has really had an impact on our family has been for us to go through seasons where we get unplugged. No TV and limited screen time, including social media. It comes in stages but a few times a year, God lays it on our heart to cut out the distractions and we go on media free mode.

Admittedly, this is harder for me. My job has big demands and I always feel a pull to get the next big project started or finished. But once I’m in, I’m in.

A few times our “unplugged” time has been for a few weeks. The longest was 2 months–no TV during the holidays. In each of these seasons we spend more time reading, talking, contemplating life and investing in each other.

If your family is feeling distant, distracted and in need of some reprieve, give unplugging a try. I strongly suspect it will set your family ship back on course!

Today my friend shared with me that her marriage was ending and neither one of them (she or her husband) want to fight for it. “It’s done,” she said.

Yet, some of the very things she shared with me as issues in the relationship were there all the way back 10+ yrs ago.

I couldn’t help but wonder, if they had really learned about each other when they were dating would they have even chosen to get married? Or, if they had prepared, stockpiled, and trained in their marriage for emergencies, would they be in this place?

When you are at the bottom of the sea looking up at the wreckage, it is not the best time to realize you didn’t take time to invest in the necessary precautions, but it is not too late. Even then, there is hope!

This is the reason Stronger Families exists, to offer help, hope and resources for couples in good times and in struggle.

Don’t wait until you are drowning before you reach out for a lifeline. Do it now! Your family and love are too valuable.

Our greatest asset is our marriage. And yet, many couples are not taking the time to invest in their marriage. When was the last time you got away on a date or went to a marriage conference?

The enemy of our soul has one strategy he has used from the beginning of time – Division. He caused a division between Adam and Eve and he desires to create division between you and your spouse. He is always up to the same old tricks.

Don’t let your marriage become divided and distant. Take time today to invest in your greatest asset.

We all do it. Many times we see strengths in other moms and are excited by their ingenuity and creativity, but sometimes, these observations can also cause insecurity in us. For instance, how you may feel when you walk into a spotless home, knowing yours is in complete chaos.

Here is the deal. It is easy to compare, but it is so unhealthy for our souls. What works for one child may not work for yours. How another mom parents, her child’s personality, or the environment they choose to live in may be different than yours, but that’s OK!

Too often I hear myself and other moms put ourselves down for the areas we fall short in. Here is what we do have–a God given role that no one else could fill in the lives of our children. Children that He has loaned us specifically. Also, I find the more I ask for wisdom and insight in my role as a parent, the more He reveals to me.

So Moms, you’re not alone! He knows every hair on your babies’ heads and…that you forgot that permission slip, that you didn’t bake homemade cupcakes, that you haven’t planned your meals for the week and, guess what? YOU are still the girl for the job!

As guys, sometimes I think we forget how important this really is. Our wives need to hear us express how much we love them. One of the exercises we do with couples in our Oxygen workshop is to have them identify their top five emotional needs.

You probably can guess what the top emotional need is for a man–sexual fulfillment. Yet, did you know the top emotional need for women is almost always affection? She craves our love, time and non-sexual touch.

Lets take the time today to show our wives how much we truly care.