Stronger Families

Oxygen For Your Relationships

Keeping Both My Vows

I consider the commitment I made to my wife on our wedding day just as important as the oath I took upon being sworn in as a police officer.

My wife, Ketryna, and I have been married for nearly 10 years now, with a 7 year old daughter, a 5 year old son, and a baby girl due this month. Although I wish I could say our marriage has always been perfect, I have to admit that it hasn’t.

We experienced major marital issues in the first year of our marriage, which we were thankfully able to work through with counseling. I frequently felt disrespected and Ketryna often felt unloved.

After a few years on the Seattle Police Department, we saw our marriage was struggling again due to many new reasons. Our son was born a week before I started the academy, and I was also learning to deal with stress, lack of sleep, and shift work on First Watch.

Communication began to break down and arguments became more frequent in our marriage.  We found one of the root issues was balancing work and home life. I was failing in this area and usually putting my job first.

After additional counseling and going through the Oxygen For Your Relationships seminar at the Bellevue YMCA, we were able to work through the difficult times.  My wife is again my best friend, my biggest supporter, and now I truly feel respected at home. I consider the commitment I made to my wife on our wedding day just as important as the oath I took upon being sworn in at the SPD.

Although I never felt as if we were going to get divorced, we have experienced many severe highs and lows.  Now, through our commitment and the training we received, we have learned how to maintain a strong and healthy marriage. We all want to leave behind a great legacy.  Ultimately, that’s what’s most important.

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